The most irrelevant game on MNF:

vs.

As many of you are aware, the 2009 NFL schedule came out this week. I took a look over the primetime games. Then I texted Chris Mortenson and told him I had an inside story on the Cowboys. I wasn't there but I'm pretty sure he needed a towel because he jizzed in his pants. He texted me back "WTF, 85 Ocho Cinco to Boys, 1st 3rd? LOL." I texted back "No fucktard eat shit, the schedule sucks." And it does. Here is a quarter by quarter breakdown of the most irrelevant game on Monday Night Football:

Monday. Dec. 28th 8:20 PM

Bears(5-10) vs. Vikings (7-8)

1st Quarter:

4:50 left:

-Peterson does something, people think he is Jesus. John Madden...errr some other ass clown says Peterson is the best back in the league. Thousands of Fantasy owners disagree because Peterson was injured for 4 weeks of the season

Bears: 3 Vikings: 7

1:20 Left:

-Cutler checks blood sugar

Bears: 3 Vikings 7

2nd Quarter:

12:30 Left

-Hester returns punt -2 yards. Marking the start of the end of his career.

Bears: 3 Vikings 7

11:12 left:

-Cutler Checks blood sugar

Bears: 6 Vikings 7

8:31 left:

-Cutler Checks blood sugar

Bears: 6 Vikings 7

3rd Quarter

14:12 left:

-Both teams realize they suck, Some fucker nobody has ever heard of takes a knee for Minnesota

10:11 left:

-Cutler checks blood sugar

Bears: 6 Vikings: 10

4th Quarter

9:19 left:

-Cutler checks blood sugar, replaces old fat guy on commercial telling world to "Get your Diabetist testin supply, Check your blood sugar, and check it oftin"

3:10:

-Peterson breaks off 20 yard run, who gives a fuck, neither team makes the playoffs

Bears: 13: Vikings: 17

Post Game:

-Cutler Checks blood sugar